It is Valentine’s Dayheart. We make a point to stay home on this day. Restaurants are crowded and movie tickets are hard to come by and to be honest we are not too thrilled with this whole commercialized love business. We do appreciate love, very much so. So, what is the driving force behind this love business? What makes it happen? What attracts us to this one person?  Dr. Ortigue is an assistant professor of psychology and an adjunct assistant professor of neurology, both in The College of Arts and Sciences at Syracuse University.

Results from Ortigue’s team revealed when a person falls in love, 12 areas of the brain work in tandem to release euphoria-inducing chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopressin. The love feeling also affects sophisticated cognitive functions, such as mental representation, metaphors and body image. The findings beg the question “Does the heart fall in love, or the brain?” Well, it is so complex that it is kind of both, and we still did not answer the why, so why that person? Apparently a lot depends on our five senses. When you kiss, a cluster of genes called MHC are exchanged in the mouth through saliva. If your genes are too similar there could be problems carrying a baby to term. Levels of testosterone in male saliva are detectable and can mark his appropriateness for you. That kiss is VERY revealing! Perhaps the most primal indicator of attraction comes from your nose. Your partner has to smell right to you. Pheromones, the chemicals that attract the opposite sex, are important, and even the timing of a woman’s cycle plays a role. A deep, confident voice is also attractive to women because it is filled with testosterone. One study showed the richer a man’s voice, the more children he had. “Touch is the mother of the senses, a huge amount of the brain becomes activated when you are touched or feel somebody else’s touch,” Dr. Helen Fisher said. What happens when love goes wrong? Scientists say the birth control pill may cause a woman to pick the wrong mate, because altered hormones mess with nature. When she’s on the pill, she likes him. When she’s off, he may no longer be Mr. Right. How sad is that? You think you are ready to have a child, you get off the pill and all of a sudden this is not the man you want to be with???? And what happens when things don’t go well and you are left heartbroken? Who cares about your brain chemistry then? You are just miserable. How do you recover from that? How many people you know that are stuck in that one failed relationship that happened years ago? Idealizing it, thinking “if only…” The grief from the loss of a relationship can be devastating. Do not hesitate to seek help if you are that person. Help is available in many forms. I use clinical hypnotherapy as a tool to move quickly and effectively through the grief of the loss of love and relationship in order to open a door to new opportunities. To love and to be loved is happiness. You deserve happiness.